Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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