oh god was she eating orange peels again
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
