You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
