Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
