the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
