Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
