I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
