Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
