In the future we'll all be gay
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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