are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
