i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
