4 words: hood of his car
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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