ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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