Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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