IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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