We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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