The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
