I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
