I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
