Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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