I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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