there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
