i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize