I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
