Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
