rhymes with "ouble enetration"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
