I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
