sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
