That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
