worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
