is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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