3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
