Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
