Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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