I'm gonna have a badass scar
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
