We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
So squirting runs in the family.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
