well I can't set my house on fire every night
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize