Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
