zippers are such a cool invention
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
