Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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