physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
