I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
someone get that fucking seahorse.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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