If that was your dad, he is hot
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
