dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
