I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
My ATM looks so different sober.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize