I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
