tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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