If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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