I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize