If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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