Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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