I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
