Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
