Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
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She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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