My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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