Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
