i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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