Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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