is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
the liver wants what the liver wants
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
